RRR - Randall's Review Room

"Marcel The Shell With Shoes On" Where I watched it: Amazon Prime In this adorable mockumentary we follow a young shell named Marcel who wears shoes, has a face and can talk.   Marcel lives in an airbnb with his grandmother Connie (voiced by Isabella Rosellini). Staying at the airbnb is the actual writer/director of the film, Dean Fleischer Camp. In the film he plays an amateur documentarian and upon finding Marcel, decides to make a movie about him and his search for the rest of his family who were displaced after the previous residents of the house moved out. Marcel is a pure, kind hearted shell, full of innocence and child-like wonder. Marcel ends up gaining a following after his videos go viral on the internet, putting him in both an advantageous position of locating his family as well as having to deal with nerve-racking fame and attention. The film is full of emotion as we observe Marcel living his life while dealing with the challenges of being a shell and caring for h...

"Pleasure" Where I watched it: Crave "Pleasure" is the story of a young Swedish woman who travels to LA to make it big in the porn industry. Not knowing much about her backstory except that she finds Swedes "boring" we are thrown headfirst into an explicit world of smutty casting calls and porn shoots that reek of predatory vibes. One thing this movie is really good at is making you second guess your gut instincts and clearly this is done with intent. Some scenes will keep you on edge as you fear the worst, but then will alleviate those fears moments later when the productions prove themselves to be handled in professional/consensual manners. At other times, the opposite happens. One scene in particular will make you never want to watch porn again. The acting is surprisingly good despite the majority of the cast being actual porn stars. Not that porn stars can't act, but the bar has always been substantially lower. The film basically serves as a chara...

"Scream VI" Where I watched it: Cineplex The "Scream" franchise has had its ups and downs. The first two, of course, were classics. The third and fourth, not so much. Now, only a year after the release of "Scream V" and riding strong on the newfound star power of Jenna Ortega comes "Scream VI." "Scream VI" has been teased steadily over the past year with posters and stills depicting the radical change of setting from the quiet and isolated town of Woodsboro to the chaotic, bustling metropolis of New York. While some horror movies have produced negative results by having a scenary change ("Jason Takes Manhattan"), this movie works surprisingly well in its new environment. "Scream VI" had me at the edge of my seat. The pace is rapid and unrelenting. The tension is ever-present. There are hardly any moments where characters are allowed to catch their breath before being chased, attacked or brutally murdered by Ghostface...

"Enter the Drag Dragon" Where I watched it: The Fox Theatre This film is an absolute blast. If anyone has seen other films by Ottawa native/legend Lee Demarbre (Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter, Smash Cut) you'll kind of know what to expect, but nothing can truly prepare you for this wild ride. The film centers around a part-time detective/ full-time drag queen named Crunch. Along with his friend, Jaws, he embarks on the case of a stolen painting that turns out to be a treasure map.   The film casts 3 different actors as the lead, Crunch, as he gets comically disfigured in various ways throughout the movie.   Speaking of cast, there are about 20-30 characters in the movie, all of which get their own glorious grindhouse-style freeze frame intros. There are even some notable cameos from B-movie legends Lloyd Kaufman (Troma Entertainment) and Greg Sestero (The Room). The film also stars Phil Caracas, who played Jesus in Lee Demarbre's cult classic "Jesus Christ Vampire ...

"Hatching" aka "Pahanhautoja" - Finland Where I watched it: DVD This film is about a young girl named Tinja, who happens upon an egg that she decides to take home and nurture. The egg grows exponentially in size before ultimately birthing a very strange creature, who the young girl continues to keep and care for until its violent side takes over. The actor that plays Tinja is incredible. Most of the actors do a great job, but she really stands out. The plot is pretty weird, of course, but it also speaks to the idea of motherhood and how certain parental influences can lead to disastrous outcomes. I was a little disappointed with some of the decisions this film made, but overall, I was thoroughly entertained, and the creature effects were top notch. I would definitely recommend checking this one out, too! 7/10

"Piggy" aka "Cerdita" - Spain Where I watched it: DVD "Piggy" is the story of a young woman named Sara who is the victim of intense and never-ending bullying from the people in her small Spanish town, in particular the teenage girls. A mysterious stranger arrives and begins kidnapping, torturing and killing people. Coinciding with Sara's interests, a lot of the people being captured and killed by the stranger are people who are assholes to Sara. And with this, a weird love story (kinda) emerges. This movie is wonderfully shot. The acting is phenomenal from everyone involved, but where it doesn't succeed is from a plot perspective. The film goes in a direction that you'd more or less expect it to go in, but it leaves certain elements of motivation to the viewers mind, which can work in some films but in this I found it distracting and ultimately unfulfilling.   Despite some issues, I would recommend checking this out. 6/10

"Vicious Lips" Where I watched it: Tubi From z-movie legend Albert Pyun, "Vicious Lips" is the story of a female glam rock group (called "Vicious Lips") trying to get to a gig that's on another planet. This is barely a movie. It's more like 3 or 4 music videos that are strung together by scenes of extremely boring dialogue. The sound mixing is particularly bad in mostly all of the scenes with dialogue. At times, people's voices will pierce your eardrums, and at others, they are an inaudible muffle. To be fair, the glam rock songs are pretty rad. After setting course for the gig in their spaceship, they soon crash land on a desert planet where there is a manbeast of some sort. Ever so slowly, this creature works its way from the outside of the ship to the interior, where it chases the band members around for a bit before... SPOILER: it gets pulled out of frame by a different manbeast and never appears again. The movie ends about 5 minutes after ...

"Terrifier 2" Where I watched it: Blu-Ray Let me just start by saying that I didn't really care for the first one. It was extremely dragged out and fell short of the hype that accompanied its release. In many ways "Terrifier 2" has the same problems as the first one. This movie is almost 2 and a half hours long. In what world is that necessary for a slasher flick? In true homage to the campy classics of yesteryear, "Terrifier 2" follows a psychotic murderer (who may or may not have supernatural abilities) as he murders victim after victim in increasingly gruesome ways. The protagonist, a "Final Girl," goes through all the clichés as "Art the Clown" comes after her and her friends/family. The acting in this is pretty bad, although it might be an intentional choice to add to the throwback vibes of a late 70s/early 80s slasher flick. The mom of the main character is the worst. Where this film succeeds is in its practical effects. The ...

"You People" Where I watched it: Netflix This is just embarrassing. Jonah Hill tries his hardest to be hip and cool by writing a movie where everyone thinks he's hip and cool. Of course, the reality is that he looks like an absolute buffoon in every scene. The chemistry between him and the love of his life is literally non-existant. The heartfelt moments are barf-worthy. Everyone is crazy rich (Jonah Hill's character actually quits their office job in favor of a life of podcasting and remains super well off financially), and because of this, relatability is naturally quite limited. The editing choices are super outdated and in no way as cool as the filmmakers thought they'd be. Every scene change is accompanied by blaring top 40 music which coupled with the chalkboard transition templates makes it feel like it was pieced together by a 90 year old who tells other 90 year olds that he "gets" the "culture." I was constantly on the verge of turning...

"Death Spa" Where I watched it: AMC+ I wasn't sure what I was getting myself into when I put this on. "Death Spa" is a horror movie that takes place at a fitness center in the late 80s. Now, is a fitness center usually considered a spa? I'm not sure, but it's definitely not what comes to mind when I envision a traditional spa. Especially not the kind of establishment that this movie takes place in. It's almost like a workout mall. This gym/spa thing is inexplicably run by an advanced computer system that literally controls everything from the hot water in the showers to the resistance levels on the exercise bikes. The computer system is operated by one person named David, and he's a computer wizard of unmatchable skills. But forget about that for now. Let's talk about Michael, the infinitely cool manager of the gym/spa. Rarely wearing a shirt and constantly desired sexually by all who frequent the gym, Micheal has a traumatic past, one where ...

"Dragged Across Concrete" Where I watched it: Tubi Another intense film by S. Craig Zahler. While this one maintains all of the trademarks of an S. Craig Zahler film (extreme violence, practical effects, ever-present tension) it might be his most challenging film yet, for a couple of reasons. The first reason is its pacing. The film is almost 3 hours long and it moves very slowly. Most of the movie in fact is dialogue. Don't get me wrong, it's engaging dialogue but some viewers might not have the patience for it depending on what headspace they're in while watching it. The second reason is that basically everyone in this movie is a huge piece of shit. The main characters played by Mel Gibson (real life piece of shit) and Vince Vaughn are terrible, abusive, crooked cops. The film starts with the two of them using excessive force on a suspect of visible minority in a way that will ring all too familiar for a lot of viewers. We follow these two a-hole cops on a heist...

"Brawl in Cell Block 99" Where I watched it: Tubi Years ago I saw a film called "Asylum Blackout." It premiered at TIFF under a different name, I think it was called "The Incident." It was one of my favorites of that year. A few years later, I stumbled upon a hidden gem called "Bone Tomahawk." Little did I know that these two films had something in common: S. Craig Zahler. Now, many years after seeing either of the aforementioned I decided to see what Zahler had to offer in a non-horror concept, which brings us to "Brawl in Cell Block 99." I have to say, this film is a hard sell right off the bat with its clunky title, awful poster featuring a bald Vince Vaughn, and the fact that it's on Tubi. It feels like it's going to be one of those straight to VOD movies that you'd see Bruce Willis in (bless his soul). But you'd be foolish to let all of that prevent you from seeing this film. This film follows a recovering alcoholic...

"Please Speak Continuously and Describe Your Experiences as They Come to You" In this short film by Brandon Cronenberg, we follow a young woman at a hospital who relives her nightmares as she reports their details to a doctor. In all of its 9 minutes of abstraction, it's actually quite profound. All the Brandon Cronenberg stamps are there: full frontal nudity, bloody body horror, red lights, and of course it leaves lots of room for audience interpretation. 7/10

"Possessor" Where I watched it: Blu-ray After seeing "Infinity Pool," it was clear that I needed to finally watch Brandon Cronenberg's "Possessor." In a way, the two films are very similar, stylistically and in tone. "Possessor" is set in an alternate 2008 where an assassin uses a machine to "possess" the bodies of others to carry out her hits. In this alternate 2008, many things are slightly off-kilter. Technology is both outdated and advanced. The only cars that exist are classic cars. Everyone vapes excessively... wait, that part's actually pretty faithful to our own world. Anywho, in this weird world, our main character with a Star Wars name, Tasya Vos, enters the bodies of people who she then pilots as she carries out her assassination assignments. Similar to the concept of "Being John Malkovich," the consciousness of the host is kept tucked away in the backseat of the mind while Vos is in control, watching helple...

"The Banshees of Inisherin" Where I watched it: Disney+ This film is fantastic. On its surface it's a simple story of two Irish men who have found themselves at odds with one another. Beneath that, it's an allegorical take on the Irish Civil War of 1922. The film centers around two men, Pàdriac (Colin Farrel) and Colm (Brendan Gleesan) while the Irish Civil War plays out in the background. The set up comes in the way of Colm no longer wanting to continue his friendship with Pàdriac due to his desire to focus on the more "intellectual" pursuit of composing music rather than spending his time exchanging meaningless conversation with what he considers a "dull" person. This sets the story in motion and Pàdriac, not satisfied with Colm's assessment of him as "dull" decides to be persistent in finding out the real reason behind the discontinuation of their friendship. In his attempts to do so, he is met with a strange and masochistic ultima...

"Infinity Pool" Where I watched it: Toronto Premiere at Scotiabank Theatre "Infinity Pool" is Brandon Cronenberg's third feature film. To be brutally honest, I stopped watching his first film "Antiviral" after about 20 minutes. I kinda hated it. I own a copy of his second film "Possessor" but I still haven't gotten around to watching it. I decided to check out his latest film in part due to the premiere screening having Brandon Cronenberg himself and star of the film Alexander Skarsgård in attendance. Another big draw was Mia Goth with "Pearl" being one of my favorite films of 2022. I knew very little about this movie going in and I would recommend keeping it that way for anyone interested in seeing this. The trailer is weird and vague enough that you can safely watch it without spoiling much. To say this film is an assault on the senses is an understatement. Imagine David Lynch, Gaspar Noè and David Cronenberg all stepped into ...

"Return to Oz" Where I watched it: Disney+ Bonkers. Absolutely bonkers. And ballsy.   Imagine the person that approached the Disney execs and was like, "Hey I got an idea for a Wizard of Oz sequel... it starts with Dorothy getting electroshock therapy!" Then the execs are like, "Ok... hardcore... but... let's go with it... tell us, at what point do we meet the Lion, Tin Man and Scarecrow?" To which the lunatic that conceived this movie says, "Well, they've all been turned to stone and won't be in the movie until the last 2 minutes... instead we will have a post-apocalyptic Emerald City where its only inhabitants are a gang of creepy punks with wheels for hands and feet... oh and they take orders from a woman who has beheaded the local women and keeps their severed heads in glass cabinets which she takes out and wears on her own headless body from time to time." The Disney execs proceed to wipe the sweat from their brows with hundred d...

"The Whale" Where I watched it: Movie Theatre This is a beautiful and emotional film. Not a dry eye in the theatre. Some folk may not want to see something that is going to make them cry, I get that. But the most emotional qualities of this movie don't come in the way of sadness but rather in the way of optimism and compassion. People really are amazing. Brendan Fraser in particular is amazing. Like, ultra-amazing in this. I've had a couple of weeks to think about this rating and by God I can't see any reason to not give it... 10/10

"Skinamarink" Where I watched it: The Fox Theatre A student film blown way out of proportion by social media hype. This film is a series of close up shots on various parts of various rooms. There is no accompanying music, only static sounds and the occasional ghostly whisper that is at times highlighted through subtitles. The shots are overlayed with an artificial film grain that lasts about 5 seconds and then is thrown into reverse to provide coverage for the lengthy shots of room corners. There's an atmosphere of tension throughout, there's no doubt about that. I think it might come down to the viewer trying to see the horror or find the fear amidst the shots of nothingness. I think we can all relate to that feeling of being a child and looking into the corner of your bedroom in the middle of the night and wondering if there's something looking back at you from the dark. You pull the blankets up over your head only to have a new fear that something is under the ...

"The Invitation" Where I watched it: Amazon Prime Not to be confused with "The Invitation" with Logan Marshall-Green or "The Invitation" with Lance Henriksen. This "The Invitation" centers around a young woman who, feeling lonely, decides to take a DNA test revealing a 2nd cousin of ultra posh British decent. She agrees to fly out to jolly old England to meet more of her relatives and attend a lavish wedding at a mansion owned by a charming, rich, sexy aristocrat named De Ville (subtlety is not this movie's forte). It's a delightful romance until it is not. Blimey! Two thirds Hallmark movie, one third shitty horror movie. This movie was originally released in theaters with a PG-13 rating but now that it's online and available for everyone to see without parental restriction it is rated R for CGI gore, one f-bomb and some side boob. This is another one of those movies where the contrast is brought up so high that barely anything is vi...

"The Menu" Where I watched it: Disney+ A good meal is one that leaves you feeling full and satisfied but still fond of what you have consumed. A good 3 course meal should provide 1) the appetizer; drawing you in and "setting up" the palette for what is to come next 2) the main course; the heart of the 3 course meal in which the stakes are raised in a way culminating in, let's say a "rising action" between the consumer and the entrée 3) the dessert; a final blow to the tastebuds... a sort of "resolution" if you will... an energizing and savory way to conclude the full meal. What I was served here on this Disney+ platter was overdone, dry, bland and comprised of ingredients that should never go together. I think I'd like to send this one back to the chef, please. 4/10

"Troll" A fun action adventure movie for the whole family. This movie doesn't take itself all that seriously and that's what's most fun about it. Directed by the Norwegian guy who directed the most recent Tomb Raider film and starring a cast of all Norwegian actors, this film is truly Norwegian. The plot centers around the Norwegian folklore of mountain trolls. A cooky father explains to his skeptical daughter that "seeing is not believing" but rather "believing is seeing." Years later a troll emerges from a mountain as a team of contractors bore a hole through it in an effort to build a tunnel. The troll, sleepy and angry begins to wreak havoc on Norway as it walks around, destroying everything in its path with its ginormous feet. The skeptical daughter is called back into action to take down the troll with the help of a goofball advisor to the prime minister and something we've never seen in a film before... a totally understanding and ra...

The Nine Kittens of Christmas" and H2 Craft Spirits Fire & Spice Cinnamon Whisky. I wasn't sure what to expect going in as generally these kind of things tend to leave a bad taste in my mouth... But this was truly an excellent twist on something we're all familiar with. It's perfect for the holidays but also really any time of the year. I can honestly say that it was sweet and warmed not just my heart but my whole body. If you are looking for the "spirit" of Christmas, look no further. Mighty fine whisky. Now for the movie. Absolute garbage salvaged only by the fact that there are 9 super cute kittens. Brandon Routh has fallen so far down the ladder... I mean this guy was Superman at one point (they actually make a reference to that in the movie).   Having now seen 3 Hallmark movies, I would say this was the most professional looking of the bunch but it still had all the fixtures of the Hallmark template: Baking, animals and rekindled romance. It actually...

"Blonde" Where I watched it: Netflix This is a weird one. It's a bio-pic about Marilyn Monroe but it's based on the fictionalized story of a book that came out in 2000 by the same name. So first off, why use a real historical figure when the events are fictionalized? I mean, it's forgivable when you put out something like "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" because it's obviously satire, but I can guarantee a handful of people are going to walk away from "Blonde" with the assumption that it's based on true events. Is the story so widely different from the actual life of Marilyn Monroe for it to make a significant difference? Well, yes and no. Its sentiment is clear that a life of fame for a woman mostly recognized in the 1950s for her "beauty" would have been a life of constant harassment and exploitation, but the accounts of historians seem to suggest that Marilyn Monroe had a respectable level of autonomy in her modeling/film ...

"I Love My Dad" Where I watched it: Amazon Prime Cringe comedy taken to new heights. "I Love My Dad" is about a father who catfishes his own son in an attempt to reconnect. Oh... and it's based on a true story... that happened to the writer/director/guy playing the son in the movie. This movie isn't going to be for everyone, especially if you find it hard to stomach mass amounts of cringe. Personally, I found it hilarious. It's clever in is visual storytelling especially when most of the dialogue is being delivered through texts and online messages. Good performances throughout, Patton Oswalt really goes the distance in this one. 7/10

"The Swimmers" Where I watched it: Netflix Not too much to say about this other than it's great. "The Swimmers" is about 2 Syrian sisters who make their way from Damascus to Berlin. It's also the real life story of Olympian swimmer Yusra Mardini. The film hits hard in its depiction of the journey of a refugee, it's heartbreaking to imagine this is a reality for so many people around the globe as I type out this review. The acting is superb by real life sisters Manal Issa and Nathalie Issa. According to Imdb most of the refugees in the movie were played by actual refugees. This film definitely runs the viewer through the full gamut of emotions. Many tears were shed... not just for the hardships these people had to endure but also for the accomplishments that they achieved. This film is one of them. 8/10

"Run Sweetheart Run" Another dud by Blumhouse. I will admit some of this is kind of fun and engaging but in the end it's silly, nonsensical and lackluster. The film is about a young professional who is set up on a business date with a rich guy. The rich guy turns out to be an actual monster and bestows upon the young woman the challenge of surviving until sunrise. Parts "Funny Games" and parts Mr. Nimbus from Rick and Morty... this film is a jumble of stuff that feels out of place. Like "Funny Games" there are moments when the antagonist breaks the fourth wall and demonstrates abilities that seem to manipulate the narrative. Like Mr. Nimbus, the antagonist controls the police. Similar to "Barbarian" and other recent allegorical horror films, this movie is a symbolic introspection into the horrors and dangers of being female in a male dominated world or even workplace in this case. It's heavy handed to be sure and doesn't work as well ...

"Where the Crawdads Sing" Spoiler alert: no crawdads sing. A murder mystery romance drama set in the marshlands of North Carolina. I definitely enjoyed this movie even though it's nothing groundbreaking... but I was shocked to see it's 34% rating on Rotten Tomatoes (albeit the audience rating is 97%.) It's engaging in its murder mystery plot and has a lot of strength in its character development of the protagonist, Kya. Daisy Edgar-Jones does a great job in this although I think they should have cast someone else for her teen years as she didn't really look the part. The romance plot has some extreme highs and lows. Its joyous at times and at others is frustrating, intentionally so, and had me yelling at the screen. Especially during the Fourth of July scene. "How could you, you bastard!?" I think were the exact words I shouted at my TV while my cats looked at me with complete confusion in their eyes, being awoken from their slumber. The pacing was g...

"The Wonder" "The Wonder" is an extremely slow film about the power of belief. The story follows a young Irish girl who her family claims hasn't eaten in 4 months. The town brings in a nurse and a nun to get a science vs faith diagnosis of what's going on with this young lady. Lots of people stand around. Or sometimes they sit. Occasionally they'll say something. I was struggling to keep my attention on this movie but it was really challenging me to do so. I don't think this is a bad movie by any means, the story is curious enough and the subtext is thought provoking but holy shit is it ever long, slow and boring. Florence Pugh is great as always and the acting in general is pretty solid. I think this might have worked better as an episode of Cabinet of Curiosities. An hour long, maybe upping the creepy factor a bit. 5/10

"Hellraiser (2022)" From David Bruckner, director of modern horror masterpieces such as "The Night House" and "The Ritual" comes the latest entry into the "Hellraiser" franchise. Not really a sequel and not really a remake, I guess this could be considered a re-imagining. "Hellraiser 2022" follows the story of an extremely unlikeable young woman who does just about everything horribly wrong. So much so that it ruins the lives of all of those around her. Maybe that's the message of the movie... bad life choices don't just f*ck up your own life but the lives of others too. But the way it plays out in the film is nothing short of irritating. Bruckner's films have until this point had incredible acting. The lead, all things considered, isn't awful but the supporting cast are shockingly bad. Fun fact, the lead character played by Odessa A'zion is the daughter of Pamela Adlon. Jamie Clayton does a pretty good job as the ne...

"The Roost" Ti West's first film! I feel like this one requires a great deal of context to be properly rated and reviewed. It's wild to think that only 2 years after making "The Roost" Ti West went on to direct "The House of the Devil" which almost immediately gained him a cult following. It's even more wild to look at his most recent film "Pearl" and hold it up side by side with "The Roost" to see how far he's come as a filmmaker. "The Roost" is a homage to cheap, made for TV b-movies. It's a clever design choice to make it look low quality for the sake of imitation rather than what was most likely the reality... a lack of money, locations and actors. The film follows 4 friends going to a wedding when their car becomes lodged in a ditch after an encounter with a bat. As the group leave the car and search an old farm house for help they encounter more bats and soon learn that these bats are... ZOMBIE BATS! ...

"Two Witches" Pardon me for what may seem like a complete digression but I just thought of this analogy and I think it's perfect.... This movie is a Pterodactyl. Hear me out. Imagine this... you have a dinosaur egg... you don't know what's in it.... it could be any dinosaur. Your mind is going crazy with the possibilities. Maybe it's a T-Rex. Maybe it's a velociraptor. The egg starts to shake. Holy shit whatever dinosaur is in there is about to come busting through. Your heart is racing. This is nuts... a dinosaur?! These things have been extinct for millions of years and here you are about to witness one being born. This is truly wild. The egg cracks a little. You hear a tiny shriek. Cute... but also foreign in a way you know is the noise only a dinosaur could make. The egg cracks a little more. A smile envelopes your face as you feel more and more like John Hammond in that baby raptor birthing scene in Jurassic Park. You even adopt a Scottish accent as y...

"Smile" A popcorn horror movie with a really solid analogy. "Smile" if taken on a surface level is a run of the mill Friday night horror film with jump scares, drone shots of a car driving through the woods and of course, sub par acting (namely the dude in jail). While it is all of these things, its also much deeper. The film serves as a representation of depression, trauma and suicide. It also very cleverly hides all of this behind "smiles" much like those dealing with these kinds of heavy emotions tend to do in the real world. Trauma begetting more trauma is also a strong theme. While I respect it for its subtext and creativity in doing so, I do feel like it did come across as a Blumhouse film which ultimately made me not care overly about the characters and had me rolling my eyes at the numerous predictable jump scares. With its surface level horror device being creepy smiles, it's going to inherently be a bit divisive. It's like people that are...