RRR - Randall's Review Room

"Scream VI" Where I watched it: Cineplex The "Scream" franchise has had its ups and downs. The first two, of course, were classics. The third and fourth, not so much. Now, only a year after the release of "Scream V" and riding strong on the newfound star power of Jenna Ortega comes "Scream VI." "Scream VI" has been teased steadily over the past year with posters and stills depicting the radical change of setting from the quiet and isolated town of Woodsboro to the chaotic, bustling metropolis of New York. While some horror movies have produced negative results by having a scenary change ("Jason Takes Manhattan"), this movie works surprisingly well in its new environment. "Scream VI" had me at the edge of my seat. The pace is rapid and unrelenting. The tension is ever-present. There are hardly any moments where characters are allowed to catch their breath before being chased, attacked or brutally murdered by Ghostface...

"Enter the Drag Dragon" Where I watched it: The Fox Theatre This film is an absolute blast. If anyone has seen other films by Ottawa native/legend Lee Demarbre (Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter, Smash Cut) you'll kind of know what to expect, but nothing can truly prepare you for this wild ride. The film centers around a part-time detective/ full-time drag queen named Crunch. Along with his friend, Jaws, he embarks on the case of a stolen painting that turns out to be a treasure map.   The film casts 3 different actors as the lead, Crunch, as he gets comically disfigured in various ways throughout the movie.   Speaking of cast, there are about 20-30 characters in the movie, all of which get their own glorious grindhouse-style freeze frame intros. There are even some notable cameos from B-movie legends Lloyd Kaufman (Troma Entertainment) and Greg Sestero (The Room). The film also stars Phil Caracas, who played Jesus in Lee Demarbre's cult classic "Jesus Christ Vampire ...

"Vicious Lips" Where I watched it: Tubi From z-movie legend Albert Pyun, "Vicious Lips" is the story of a female glam rock group (called "Vicious Lips") trying to get to a gig that's on another planet. This is barely a movie. It's more like 3 or 4 music videos that are strung together by scenes of extremely boring dialogue. The sound mixing is particularly bad in mostly all of the scenes with dialogue. At times, people's voices will pierce your eardrums, and at others, they are an inaudible muffle. To be fair, the glam rock songs are pretty rad. After setting course for the gig in their spaceship, they soon crash land on a desert planet where there is a manbeast of some sort. Ever so slowly, this creature works its way from the outside of the ship to the interior, where it chases the band members around for a bit before... SPOILER: it gets pulled out of frame by a different manbeast and never appears again. The movie ends about 5 minutes after ...

"Dragged Across Concrete" Where I watched it: Tubi Another intense film by S. Craig Zahler. While this one maintains all of the trademarks of an S. Craig Zahler film (extreme violence, practical effects, ever-present tension) it might be his most challenging film yet, for a couple of reasons. The first reason is its pacing. The film is almost 3 hours long and it moves very slowly. Most of the movie in fact is dialogue. Don't get me wrong, it's engaging dialogue but some viewers might not have the patience for it depending on what headspace they're in while watching it. The second reason is that basically everyone in this movie is a huge piece of shit. The main characters played by Mel Gibson (real life piece of shit) and Vince Vaughn are terrible, abusive, crooked cops. The film starts with the two of them using excessive force on a suspect of visible minority in a way that will ring all too familiar for a lot of viewers. We follow these two a-hole cops on a heist...

"Brawl in Cell Block 99" Where I watched it: Tubi Years ago I saw a film called "Asylum Blackout." It premiered at TIFF under a different name, I think it was called "The Incident." It was one of my favorites of that year. A few years later, I stumbled upon a hidden gem called "Bone Tomahawk." Little did I know that these two films had something in common: S. Craig Zahler. Now, many years after seeing either of the aforementioned I decided to see what Zahler had to offer in a non-horror concept, which brings us to "Brawl in Cell Block 99." I have to say, this film is a hard sell right off the bat with its clunky title, awful poster featuring a bald Vince Vaughn, and the fact that it's on Tubi. It feels like it's going to be one of those straight to VOD movies that you'd see Bruce Willis in (bless his soul). But you'd be foolish to let all of that prevent you from seeing this film. This film follows a recovering alcoholic...

"Return to Oz" Where I watched it: Disney+ Bonkers. Absolutely bonkers. And ballsy.   Imagine the person that approached the Disney execs and was like, "Hey I got an idea for a Wizard of Oz sequel... it starts with Dorothy getting electroshock therapy!" Then the execs are like, "Ok... hardcore... but... let's go with it... tell us, at what point do we meet the Lion, Tin Man and Scarecrow?" To which the lunatic that conceived this movie says, "Well, they've all been turned to stone and won't be in the movie until the last 2 minutes... instead we will have a post-apocalyptic Emerald City where its only inhabitants are a gang of creepy punks with wheels for hands and feet... oh and they take orders from a woman who has beheaded the local women and keeps their severed heads in glass cabinets which she takes out and wears on her own headless body from time to time." The Disney execs proceed to wipe the sweat from their brows with hundred d...

"Skinamarink" Where I watched it: The Fox Theatre A student film blown way out of proportion by social media hype. This film is a series of close up shots on various parts of various rooms. There is no accompanying music, only static sounds and the occasional ghostly whisper that is at times highlighted through subtitles. The shots are overlayed with an artificial film grain that lasts about 5 seconds and then is thrown into reverse to provide coverage for the lengthy shots of room corners. There's an atmosphere of tension throughout, there's no doubt about that. I think it might come down to the viewer trying to see the horror or find the fear amidst the shots of nothingness. I think we can all relate to that feeling of being a child and looking into the corner of your bedroom in the middle of the night and wondering if there's something looking back at you from the dark. You pull the blankets up over your head only to have a new fear that something is under the ...

"Run Sweetheart Run" Another dud by Blumhouse. I will admit some of this is kind of fun and engaging but in the end it's silly, nonsensical and lackluster. The film is about a young professional who is set up on a business date with a rich guy. The rich guy turns out to be an actual monster and bestows upon the young woman the challenge of surviving until sunrise. Parts "Funny Games" and parts Mr. Nimbus from Rick and Morty... this film is a jumble of stuff that feels out of place. Like "Funny Games" there are moments when the antagonist breaks the fourth wall and demonstrates abilities that seem to manipulate the narrative. Like Mr. Nimbus, the antagonist controls the police. Similar to "Barbarian" and other recent allegorical horror films, this movie is a symbolic introspection into the horrors and dangers of being female in a male dominated world or even workplace in this case. It's heavy handed to be sure and doesn't work as well ...

"Prey" I'm sure this goes without saying but "Prey" is the latest film in the "Predator" series. It's as far back as the predator lore goes (if you discount the Mayan pyramid shit in AvP) and follows a Comanche woman who wants to prove her abilities as a hunter to her tribe and herself. I'm not going to build suspense here, I loved this movie. It's a fantastic tale of overcoming challenges, misogyny, societal expectations and it ultimately demonstrates that cunning will always overpower bravado. From a horror perspective, there's not too much going on... unless you equate violence and gore to horror... because it's definitely not lacking in that department. But suspense building and genuine terror of the Predator isn't there like it was in the first film. Speaking of which, there are a lot of nods to the original Predator movie and a clever connecting element to the second Predator movie, none of which feel forced or shoehorned ...

"Mutant" Forget every vibe you get from the title and poster, this is a zombie movie. "Mutant" is the story of two city bois who go to a small country town to relax and party hard. Nearing the small town they are driven off the road by the local yokels and are forced to hitchhike the rest of the journey with a weird man named Mel who claims that there are aliens visiting the town. Mel is straight up lying to the two city slickers as he damn well knows that he's the root of the problem as he's been experimenting on the townsfolk by slathering them in toxic waste. The end result of Mel's sloppy experimentations is that the town turns into zombies and yep the city bois gotta stay alive long enough for the movie to end. For some reason this movie has a cult following and I'm not sure why. It's got horrible production value, the acting is along the lines of those Italian cannibal movies I just watched and the story is weak even for a zombie movie. Wha...

"Jurassic World: Dominion" Where I watched it: On the plane (Westjet In-Flight entertainment app) In this latest entry into a franchise that should have died out like the dinosaurs years ago, we have what might be the most incomprehensible film ever made. That being said... it wasn't as bad as everyone's making it out to be. At least not to me, gosh darn it. This movie franchise clearly went off the rails some time ago so I don't know why people expect it to not be sucky. "The Lost World" was a huge departure from what the first Jurassic Park movie accomplished and looking back I think I can say without a doubt that it's the best sequel in the series. In the 3rd Jurassic Park it was far fetched to see Alan Grant communicating with the Raptors by blowing into a replicated voice box... but Owen Grady took this ridiculousness to a whole new level in the Jurassic World series. Not only do Raptors not attack this man but he can control them with a simple ...

"Samaritan" Where I watched it: Prime I always appreciate the idea that some people are interested in making/watching superhero movies that are not connected in some way to the Marvel or DC universe. It's kinda rare of course but it does happen... M. Night Shyamalan made his attempt with the Unbreakable trilogy as did James Gunn with Brightburn. That being said, its a difficult task when you're up against films with colossal budgets that have an already hugely established fan base. It requires very outside of the box thinking. I think that's why Brightburn succeeded and the Unbreakable trilogy felt a little too much like a knockoff. A film that tried to think outside the box by taking a test drive in the POV/found footage lane was Chronicle, which was ultimately a garbage movie but I do appreciate the attempts that were made to do their own thing (while doing the exact same things every superhero movie before it did). Samaritan falls into the category of "E f...

"Nope" Where I saw it: Cinema The 3rd film by Jordan Peele is definitely his biggest directorial achievement. While I've enjoyed his other 2 films I've never really been overly blown away by the shots. This time, this dude has IMAX cameras. Acting is superb by Daniel Kaluuya and Keke Palmer, they balance each other out nicely with one being pure energy and the other being a more subdued pensive personality type. Supporting cast is great as well with Steven Yeun and the legendary Keith David. I love that while Jordan Peele is becoming this horror auteur he still manages to fill his movies with humor that doesn't compromise the scary stuff. There's some hilarious bits in Nope, in particular a scene with a guy from TMZ. As with all of Peele's films, there is an underlying social message and this time it's focused on world matters that are turned into "spectacles" for our entertainment purposes. This is really obvious with the side story about Go...

"The Northman" Where I watched it: Blu-ray (saw it in cinemas when it came out too but only getting around to reviewing it now.) Robert Eggers is a master filmmaker. Don't care if you like his movies or not, it's 100 percent a fact that he's a master filmmaker. I knew this movie was going to be good but dear lord this is a work of epic proportions. The shots alone in this are enough to be awe-struck. The performances are some of the best I've seen of this all star cast. Even someone like Ethan Hawke who I generally just see as meh did a fantastic job. As are all of Eggers' films, this one is a period piece and is very historically informed. It blends reality with the profound and puts characters through trials of morality and mortality. It's a shame that this was a commercial flop as the studios are going to be less likely to give Eggers this big a budget moving forward. But whatever, A24 will welcome him back with open arms and I'm sure he'll ...

"Demolition Man" Where I watched it: Hollywood Suite This movie is super fun. Baffling at times and sometimes seemingly incomplete but hot dang this movie is great. Fantastic performances from an all star cast... most notably Sandra Bullock as the naive, happy-go-lucky future cop. For those that aren't aware of the plot here it is... it's great... Stallone and Snipes are mortal enemies in 1996, they both get cryogenically frozen for crimes and are thawed out about 30 years later where they continue to be mortal enemies. But here's where the movie really succeeds. Everyone in the future is a complete softy. The police force has not had to deal with real crime since the "earthquake of 2010." You aren't even allowed to use curse words without being fined. It's kind of like Utah. So now that Snipes is thawed and is on the loose with a police force that has no idea how to handle the situation, they must resort to using a cop that knows how to deal wit...

"Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness" Where I watched it: Disney+ After being cryogenically frozen for 9 years, director Sham Pay-me (Sam Raimi) returns to what he is known best for... Evil Dead, Spiderman and cashing cheques. Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness is a jumble of scenes that leave you confused, bored and then bored some more. This Doctor can surely cure any case of insomnia. I remember not being too fond of the first Doctor Strange movie but I grew to like him more as an ensemble character in the other MCU films. He was particularly good in Spider-Man: No Way Home. But in this he kinda sucks... his usual jaded attitude and smarmy sense of humor is all but gone without a proper sidekick. This film is also a sequel to the Wandavision show, which I enjoyed for the most part and half of the screentime (if not more) is taken up by Wanda/Scarlett Witch. Right off the bat she reveals herself to be evil (which I don't recall her being at the end of W...

"Morbius" Where I watched it: $5.99 rental on Prime "Morpheus was freed from the Matrix at a young age and dwelt in Zion. He enjoyed the taste of the rare bread, a commodity brought to the Zionites by the exploits of legendary Geoffrey. He then joined the Resistance and became the captain of the hovercraft Nebuchadnezzar. He became a well-known hacker inside the Matrix. With his crew they liberated many bluepills from their pods." You may be wondering why they would cast Jared Leto as Morpheus... well, that's because they didn't. Instead... Jared Leto plays "Morbius" in a completely different film that has nothing to do with The Matrix. In "Morbius", a guy becomes a vampire and then another guy does too. They are replaced by video game characters and they fly around and hit each other and throw each other into stuff. The only thing these vampires crave is blood but the one thing the film's rating won't allow is blood. Another swin...

"Scream" (2022) Don't watch Redlettermedia's Plinketto #10 episode before watching this. A true RE-quel, this movie is the EXACT same movie as the first Scream but by adding legacy characters, it also acts as a sequel of sorts. First off, I'm gonna say something that some will resent me for... I've never thought too highly of the Scream franchise. The only thing it has going for it is it's self awareness and this new entry is no different. Awful acting throughout with a few exceptions, including a pretty great performance from David Arquette who has aged like a fine wine, not a Paul Rudd standard of wine but decently fermented none the less. Absolutely fascinating watching David Arquette and Courtney Cox acting like they were married and broke up. Life imitating art imitating life. Pretty bland kills and for the ones that were actually kinda cool, they were ruined by shit CG. These movies are like the equivalent of Sharknado movies for me. I'll complai...

"Moonfall" Where I streamed it: Prime Where do I start with this? So this is another disaster movie (in more ways than one) by renowned disaster artist Roland Emmerich. It stars Patrick Wilson and Halle Berry and is about AN ALIEN A.I. THAT DRILLS ITS WAY INTO THE MOON (WHICH TURNS OUT TO BE A MEGASTRUCTURE BUILT BY AN ALIEN CIVILIZATION) CAUSING THE MOON TO FALL OUT OF ORBIT WREAKING HAVOC UPON THE PLANET THROUGH FLOODS, RELENTLESS METEOR PUMMELING AND GRAVITATIONAL NONSENSE. This movie has a little bit of everything from Emmerich's previous films. The disaster elements of 2012 and The Day After Tomorrow with the alien sci-fi aspects of Independence Day. For a man who seemingly gets off on watching buildings crumble and cities flood, this is truly Roland Emmerich's ultimate cumpilation reel. Of course it goes without saying that this movie is terrible. But I'll tell you what, I watched this in bed sporting a gnarly hangover and it was exactly what I needed. It...

"The River Wild" Where I streamed it: "The Hollywood Suite" via Prime. "The River Wild" is about a family that gets stuck on a raft with a couple of bank robbers. Not only is this movie made by the director of 8 Mile but it also has an all-star cast of 90s Meryl Streep, 90s Kevin Bacon, 90s John C. Reilly, the kid from Jurassic Park and the most forgettable face in cinema, David Starthairn. The film takes a while to get going but once it does... IT'S PURE TENSION AND EXHILARATING WHITE WATER RAFTING UNDER EXTREME DURESS. However, it is not without flaws. There's some pretty stupid stuff going on here. For example (mild spoilers... doesn't really matter): David Strathairn's character is able to sprint non-stop over 2 mountains, then make his way down the river to get ahead of the boat that initially left him behind in the river and still have time to set up the most elaborately underwhelming booby trap ever. Not only is this unhumanly possib...