RRR - Randall's Review Room

"Terrifier 2" Where I watched it: Blu-Ray Let me just start by saying that I didn't really care for the first one. It was extremely dragged out and fell short of the hype that accompanied its release. In many ways "Terrifier 2" has the same problems as the first one. This movie is almost 2 and a half hours long. In what world is that necessary for a slasher flick? In true homage to the campy classics of yesteryear, "Terrifier 2" follows a psychotic murderer (who may or may not have supernatural abilities) as he murders victim after victim in increasingly gruesome ways. The protagonist, a "Final Girl," goes through all the clichés as "Art the Clown" comes after her and her friends/family. The acting in this is pretty bad, although it might be an intentional choice to add to the throwback vibes of a late 70s/early 80s slasher flick. The mom of the main character is the worst. Where this film succeeds is in its practical effects. The ...

"The Roost" Ti West's first film! I feel like this one requires a great deal of context to be properly rated and reviewed. It's wild to think that only 2 years after making "The Roost" Ti West went on to direct "The House of the Devil" which almost immediately gained him a cult following. It's even more wild to look at his most recent film "Pearl" and hold it up side by side with "The Roost" to see how far he's come as a filmmaker. "The Roost" is a homage to cheap, made for TV b-movies. It's a clever design choice to make it look low quality for the sake of imitation rather than what was most likely the reality... a lack of money, locations and actors. The film follows 4 friends going to a wedding when their car becomes lodged in a ditch after an encounter with a bat. As the group leave the car and search an old farm house for help they encounter more bats and soon learn that these bats are... ZOMBIE BATS! ...

"Harvest Lake" This movie is terrible. I wondered if it was a porno about 10 seconds before it literally revealed itself to be a porno. Normally I would immediately abandon a movie like this but what kept me going was the absolute comedy of it all. This actually should be submitted to Redlettermedia's Best of the Worst. It's sooooo awkward. It's basically non-stop softcore porn done in the most cringey ways possible. I honestly would be shocked if the people that agreed to act in this don't feel a great deal of shame and regret currently. In the midst of the horrible sex scenes, it becomes an experimental film about half way through with weird slow motion/warping effects and endless shots of a river. To be fair the shots of the water were the most competently done shots in the whole thing. But to be even fairer... the likelihood of those shots being stock footage is damn near 100%. The film ends with its big Lovecraftian money shot as the entire cast fornicate...

"Mutant" Forget every vibe you get from the title and poster, this is a zombie movie. "Mutant" is the story of two city bois who go to a small country town to relax and party hard. Nearing the small town they are driven off the road by the local yokels and are forced to hitchhike the rest of the journey with a weird man named Mel who claims that there are aliens visiting the town. Mel is straight up lying to the two city slickers as he damn well knows that he's the root of the problem as he's been experimenting on the townsfolk by slathering them in toxic waste. The end result of Mel's sloppy experimentations is that the town turns into zombies and yep the city bois gotta stay alive long enough for the movie to end. For some reason this movie has a cult following and I'm not sure why. It's got horrible production value, the acting is along the lines of those Italian cannibal movies I just watched and the story is weak even for a zombie movie. Wha...

"Llamageddon" Where I watched it: Tubi Obviously I was drawn in by this amazing poster and movie title. I did some quick maths (unheard of movie + tubi + this poster) which brought me to the conclusion that this was going to be terrible. Well guess what? It was pretty awesome. In its own way. The opening sequence (the first of 2) is animated and really sets the film up for success depicting a fleet of alien llamas leaving their planet in small trailer shaped space ships to presumably conquer other worlds. After this the movie takes a turn for the worse as we are introduced to the live action student film that it truly is. Bad audio recorded in camera and silenced in between lines only adds more attention to the roaring wind sounds that accompany the dialogue. Flat angles with DSLR cameras complete with dead pixels. Multiple times the crew can be seen in reflections including one scene where the camera man is seen in between 2 actors as he shoots directly into a mirror. Oh and...

"Killer Klowns from Outer Space" Where I watched it: Tubi It's been on the watch list for a very long time and I finally got around to checking it out. "Killer Klowns" is a deep movie that stimulates critical thought and will move you to tears in a profound allegory about what it is to be human and what it is to be an alien clown. Just kidding. This movie is gloriously stupid. Literally about aliens that fly down to earth in a giant circus tent and start collecting people in cotton candy pods and just generally wreak havoc on a small town. For being such a silly idea, it's super fun and engaging. The "klowns" are legit unsettling with their slow blinking eyes and Alfred E Neuman facial proportions. Lots of practical effects to make the creature feature enthusiasts foam at the mouth. The acting is intentionally campy, this movie is clearly a response to films of this nature designed to be taken more seriously. Something like "Invaders from Mars...

"Head of the Family" Where I watched it: Shudder What in the flying **** did I just watch? Before we get into the nitty gritty here let me just go ahead and say this was a blast. "Head of the Family" is an insanity trip that feels like you're watching a porno movie made by a cenobyte. Shot on video with extremely tight close up shots to make up for the lack of back drops, I'm convinced they only had 3 walls they could shoot in front of. While the whole thing feels low budget there is some degree of artistic competency with the actual look of the "head" of the family. Speaking of porno movies, this film stars Jaquelline Lovell who believe it or not (you'll have no trouble believing this if you watch this movie) is/was an adult entertainer. Of course this is a Full Moon release so gratuitous t&a is to be expected. For me the most engaging aspect came in the way of Blake Adams' character. Fun fact, Blake Adams was credited by his original ...

"Texas Chainsaw Massacre" (2022) I saw the original TCM when I was 4 years old (not even joking). Naturally, I found it very frightening. Its haunting imagery would manifest in nightmares for many of my childhood years. When I was in my teens, I revisited the original film after seeing the 2003 remake, which for the record I think is great. While some of the classic moments in the original held up on this second viewing, it did admittedly feel a little dated and poorly constructed. I definitely was at this point more partial to the remake. As I continued down a path of endless horror movies, I of course worked my way through all of the entries in the TCM franchise. Even though I really wanted to love them, I found most of the movies clunky, boring and uninspired. This film is no exception, sadly. This sequel to the original follows a group of hipsters trying to gentrify a ghost town somewhere in the American South (Texas, I think). That's about as far as "story"...