RRR - Randall's Review Room

"Unhuman" Where I watched it: Paramount+ This is pure trash. Just steaming hot garbage. Remember that garbage strike years ago and the whole city of Toronto smelled like it was rotting? If that vomit-inducing smell was a movie it would be "Unhuman." So... it stars one of the younglings from the "I Like Totally Like Know What You Like Totally Did Last Summer, Betch" and if you thought she was horrendous in that well, let me tell you... she is actually worse in IKWYDLS but this is also pretty f***ing bad. Ok before we get into the plot, I went into this movie knowing nothing, just that it was a Blumhouse joint, which at this point generally means its likely to be lame. So anyway it starts off with the weirdest mother/daughter conversation that has 1 million cuts from 1 million different camera angles during 3 minutes of dialogue. Cue joke about how Alvin Flang, the golden retriever from Love on a Leash edited this movie. It's almost unwatchable. I felt I...

"Dear Evan Hansen" Where I watched it: Crave Yikes. Just... what the hell.... wow. This thing is like a David Wain movie, how old is the guy playing Evan Hansen lol. Not only is this guy like 20 years older than the high school kid he's trying to play but he has such a comical way about his reactions, line deliveries, song deliveries... he kinda reminded me of Dennis from Alway Sunny mixed with Jessie Eisenberg mixed with Jerry Seinfeld. Despite rather serious content matter, I found myself chuckling quite a lot. I think this story is playing it pretty close to the real life Million Little Pieces controversy where the author sold his book as a memoir when really it was a work of fiction. I was crying with laughter at the scene where Connor's mom invites Evan Hansen to dinner and fills in the blanks whenever Evan tries to speak. Evan: We never really hung out... Connor's mom: Because you didn't consider it "hanging out" because it was much more specia...

"Metal Lords" Where I streamed it: Netflix From the producers of Game of Thrones and Harold and Kumar. Let's just get right to it. This movie sucks. It's a kids movie that's made for adults and it feels like it was written by a bot that did a quick internet search for "metal music." Less than 10 minutes in I was like "this definitely was written by someone that doesn't know anything about metal." Then I find out it's co-produced by Tom Morello of Rage Against The Machine. Baffling. I feel like the name and the poster are trying to leech off of Lords of Chaos with the corpse paint and whatnot but it doesn't really touch on black metal, just the big well known classics like Judas Priest, Maiden and Metallica (ugh puke). There's actually a bit in the movie where the one kid shows the other kid a snippet of black metal and he's like "ughh why would I want to make music that sounds like people being tortured?" Life is t...

"The Package" Dear God this was a cringe fest. This is embarrassing on a lot of levels. I laughed once at something that I'm pretty sure wasn't the punchline of the joke they were going for. Acting is next level awful. 1/10  

"See You Yesterday" Good social message hidden in teen time travel film that ultimately collapses due to characters being idiotic. 6/10