Skip to main content

"The Invitation" dir. by Jessica M. Thompson


"The Invitation"
Where I watched it: Amazon Prime

Not to be confused with "The Invitation" with Logan Marshall-Green or "The Invitation" with Lance Henriksen.

This "The Invitation" centers around a young woman who, feeling lonely, decides to take a DNA test revealing a 2nd cousin of ultra posh British decent. She agrees to fly out to jolly old England to meet more of her relatives and attend a lavish wedding at a mansion owned by a charming, rich, sexy aristocrat named De Ville (subtlety is not this movie's forte). It's a delightful romance until it is not. Blimey!

Two thirds Hallmark movie, one third shitty horror movie.

This movie was originally released in theaters with a PG-13 rating but now that it's online and available for everyone to see without parental restriction it is rated R for CGI gore, one f-bomb and some side boob.

This is another one of those movies where the contrast is brought up so high that barely anything is visible in the dark scenes which make up the majority of the movie. Nothing will ever be as dark as "AvP: Requiem" lighting wise but this was in the same ballpark.

It's got a twist that I'm willing to bet is revealed in the trailer.

Overall, a throwaway movie that probably couldn't have been good even if it succeeded at what it was trying to do.

3/10
 
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

"The Cursed" dir. by Sean Ellis

"The Cursed" Random pick from Amazon Prime, this actually turned out to be a pretty amazing film. "The Cursed" is a gothic horror set in the late 1800s. After slaughtering and stealing land from a Roma clan, a curse is unleashed on the family and village responsible for the aforementioned atrocities. This film is another one that I'd recommend knowing as little about as possible. It's no secret that this film taps into the werewolf lore that most are familiar with, however it takes some completely new approaches and pushes some serious boundaries in terms of violence and gore. Outside of Boyd Holbrook's awful British accent there wasn't much to not like about this film. It's shot gorgeously and the pacing is somewhere between slow and medium at first but ramps up quite a bit in the last third. 8/10
Post a Comment
Read more

"Mutant" dir. by John "Bud" Cardos

"Mutant" Forget every vibe you get from the title and poster, this is a zombie movie. "Mutant" is the story of two city bois who go to a small country town to relax and party hard. Nearing the small town they are driven off the road by the local yokels and are forced to hitchhike the rest of the journey with a weird man named Mel who claims that there are aliens visiting the town. Mel is straight up lying to the two city slickers as he damn well knows that he's the root of the problem as he's been experimenting on the townsfolk by slathering them in toxic waste. The end result of Mel's sloppy experimentations is that the town turns into zombies and yep the city bois gotta stay alive long enough for the movie to end. For some reason this movie has a cult following and I'm not sure why. It's got horrible production value, the acting is along the lines of those Italian cannibal movies I just watched and the story is weak even for a zombie movie. Wha...
Post a Comment
Read more

"The River Wild" dir. by Curtis Hanson

"The River Wild" Where I streamed it: "The Hollywood Suite" via Prime. "The River Wild" is about a family that gets stuck on a raft with a couple of bank robbers. Not only is this movie made by the director of 8 Mile but it also has an all-star cast of 90s Meryl Streep, 90s Kevin Bacon, 90s John C. Reilly, the kid from Jurassic Park and the most forgettable face in cinema, David Starthairn. The film takes a while to get going but once it does... IT'S PURE TENSION AND EXHILARATING WHITE WATER RAFTING UNDER EXTREME DURESS. However, it is not without flaws. There's some pretty stupid stuff going on here. For example (mild spoilers... doesn't really matter): David Strathairn's character is able to sprint non-stop over 2 mountains, then make his way down the river to get ahead of the boat that initially left him behind in the river and still have time to set up the most elaborately underwhelming booby trap ever. Not only is this unhumanly possib...
Post a Comment
Read more