RRR - Randall's Review Room

"Scream VI" Where I watched it: Cineplex The "Scream" franchise has had its ups and downs. The first two, of course, were classics. The third and fourth, not so much. Now, only a year after the release of "Scream V" and riding strong on the newfound star power of Jenna Ortega comes "Scream VI." "Scream VI" has been teased steadily over the past year with posters and stills depicting the radical change of setting from the quiet and isolated town of Woodsboro to the chaotic, bustling metropolis of New York. While some horror movies have produced negative results by having a scenary change ("Jason Takes Manhattan"), this movie works surprisingly well in its new environment. "Scream VI" had me at the edge of my seat. The pace is rapid and unrelenting. The tension is ever-present. There are hardly any moments where characters are allowed to catch their breath before being chased, attacked or brutally murdered by Ghostface...

"Enter the Drag Dragon" Where I watched it: The Fox Theatre This film is an absolute blast. If anyone has seen other films by Ottawa native/legend Lee Demarbre (Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter, Smash Cut) you'll kind of know what to expect, but nothing can truly prepare you for this wild ride. The film centers around a part-time detective/ full-time drag queen named Crunch. Along with his friend, Jaws, he embarks on the case of a stolen painting that turns out to be a treasure map.   The film casts 3 different actors as the lead, Crunch, as he gets comically disfigured in various ways throughout the movie.   Speaking of cast, there are about 20-30 characters in the movie, all of which get their own glorious grindhouse-style freeze frame intros. There are even some notable cameos from B-movie legends Lloyd Kaufman (Troma Entertainment) and Greg Sestero (The Room). The film also stars Phil Caracas, who played Jesus in Lee Demarbre's cult classic "Jesus Christ Vampire ...

"Terrifier 2" Where I watched it: Blu-Ray Let me just start by saying that I didn't really care for the first one. It was extremely dragged out and fell short of the hype that accompanied its release. In many ways "Terrifier 2" has the same problems as the first one. This movie is almost 2 and a half hours long. In what world is that necessary for a slasher flick? In true homage to the campy classics of yesteryear, "Terrifier 2" follows a psychotic murderer (who may or may not have supernatural abilities) as he murders victim after victim in increasingly gruesome ways. The protagonist, a "Final Girl," goes through all the clichés as "Art the Clown" comes after her and her friends/family. The acting in this is pretty bad, although it might be an intentional choice to add to the throwback vibes of a late 70s/early 80s slasher flick. The mom of the main character is the worst. Where this film succeeds is in its practical effects. The ...

"You People" Where I watched it: Netflix This is just embarrassing. Jonah Hill tries his hardest to be hip and cool by writing a movie where everyone thinks he's hip and cool. Of course, the reality is that he looks like an absolute buffoon in every scene. The chemistry between him and the love of his life is literally non-existant. The heartfelt moments are barf-worthy. Everyone is crazy rich (Jonah Hill's character actually quits their office job in favor of a life of podcasting and remains super well off financially), and because of this, relatability is naturally quite limited. The editing choices are super outdated and in no way as cool as the filmmakers thought they'd be. Every scene change is accompanied by blaring top 40 music which coupled with the chalkboard transition templates makes it feel like it was pieced together by a 90 year old who tells other 90 year olds that he "gets" the "culture." I was constantly on the verge of turning...

"Death Spa" Where I watched it: AMC+ I wasn't sure what I was getting myself into when I put this on. "Death Spa" is a horror movie that takes place at a fitness center in the late 80s. Now, is a fitness center usually considered a spa? I'm not sure, but it's definitely not what comes to mind when I envision a traditional spa. Especially not the kind of establishment that this movie takes place in. It's almost like a workout mall. This gym/spa thing is inexplicably run by an advanced computer system that literally controls everything from the hot water in the showers to the resistance levels on the exercise bikes. The computer system is operated by one person named David, and he's a computer wizard of unmatchable skills. But forget about that for now. Let's talk about Michael, the infinitely cool manager of the gym/spa. Rarely wearing a shirt and constantly desired sexually by all who frequent the gym, Micheal has a traumatic past, one where ...

"The Banshees of Inisherin" Where I watched it: Disney+ This film is fantastic. On its surface it's a simple story of two Irish men who have found themselves at odds with one another. Beneath that, it's an allegorical take on the Irish Civil War of 1922. The film centers around two men, Pàdriac (Colin Farrel) and Colm (Brendan Gleesan) while the Irish Civil War plays out in the background. The set up comes in the way of Colm no longer wanting to continue his friendship with Pàdriac due to his desire to focus on the more "intellectual" pursuit of composing music rather than spending his time exchanging meaningless conversation with what he considers a "dull" person. This sets the story in motion and Pàdriac, not satisfied with Colm's assessment of him as "dull" decides to be persistent in finding out the real reason behind the discontinuation of their friendship. In his attempts to do so, he is met with a strange and masochistic ultima...

The Nine Kittens of Christmas" and H2 Craft Spirits Fire & Spice Cinnamon Whisky. I wasn't sure what to expect going in as generally these kind of things tend to leave a bad taste in my mouth... But this was truly an excellent twist on something we're all familiar with. It's perfect for the holidays but also really any time of the year. I can honestly say that it was sweet and warmed not just my heart but my whole body. If you are looking for the "spirit" of Christmas, look no further. Mighty fine whisky. Now for the movie. Absolute garbage salvaged only by the fact that there are 9 super cute kittens. Brandon Routh has fallen so far down the ladder... I mean this guy was Superman at one point (they actually make a reference to that in the movie).   Having now seen 3 Hallmark movies, I would say this was the most professional looking of the bunch but it still had all the fixtures of the Hallmark template: Baking, animals and rekindled romance. It actually...

"I Love My Dad" Where I watched it: Amazon Prime Cringe comedy taken to new heights. "I Love My Dad" is about a father who catfishes his own son in an attempt to reconnect. Oh... and it's based on a true story... that happened to the writer/director/guy playing the son in the movie. This movie isn't going to be for everyone, especially if you find it hard to stomach mass amounts of cringe. Personally, I found it hilarious. It's clever in is visual storytelling especially when most of the dialogue is being delivered through texts and online messages. Good performances throughout, Patton Oswalt really goes the distance in this one. 7/10

"Sissy" A quirky Australian horror film about a young woman named "Sissy" who reunites with her estranged childhood bestie as well as her estranged childhood bully. This film has some questionable death scenes in terms of plausibility but I have to say that it was thoroughly enjoyable. There's a dark sense of humor holding the whole thing together and certain scenes had me bubbling with nervous chuckles. Information trickles out slowly in this movie making for some excellent plot shifts which I felt was a refreshing way of redesigning the conventional "twist" that we've all come to expect in horror films. Check it out! 7/10

"Hocus Pocus 2" We live in a world where nothing is new, nothing is sacred and nothing ever ends. "Hocus Pocus 2" is about a giant space leech that feeds on a resource in the human brain known as "nostalgia." The leech latches on to its victims' skulls and with a sharp straw-like appendage it bores a hole directly into its host's brain. Much like the baleen of a whale, the leech is able to select what information it requires for its own nourishment while retaining select brain matter within the host. At the same time, the leech injects its host with a heavy dose of dopamine and serotonin giving its victim a false sense of joy and happiness while it eventually removes all critical thought and individuality from the host leaving behind a hollow husk which is then used to house and gestate approximately 10 thousand new baby Disney mice... I mean space leeches. 4/10

"Llamageddon" Where I watched it: Tubi Obviously I was drawn in by this amazing poster and movie title. I did some quick maths (unheard of movie + tubi + this poster) which brought me to the conclusion that this was going to be terrible. Well guess what? It was pretty awesome. In its own way. The opening sequence (the first of 2) is animated and really sets the film up for success depicting a fleet of alien llamas leaving their planet in small trailer shaped space ships to presumably conquer other worlds. After this the movie takes a turn for the worse as we are introduced to the live action student film that it truly is. Bad audio recorded in camera and silenced in between lines only adds more attention to the roaring wind sounds that accompany the dialogue. Flat angles with DSLR cameras complete with dead pixels. Multiple times the crew can be seen in reflections including one scene where the camera man is seen in between 2 actors as he shoots directly into a mirror. Oh and...

"Red Rocket" Where I watched it: Crave Don't watch this movie with your parents. I didn't know anything about this movie before watching it which I actually think makes for a great viewing experience with almost any movie but this was a seriously wild ride. Red Rocket is about an ex-adult film star who moves back to his hometown in Texas. Everyone is weird, down and out and drug fuelled. It's actually shocking that this isn't a Harmony Korine film. But what's even more shocking is that a great deal of the plot is concerned with Simon Rex's character Mikey Saber trying to hook up with a 17 year old high schooler named Strawberry. Simon Rex was 47 years old when this film was shot. It's bizarre in its tone as Mikey is never openly criticized for his pursuit of Strawberry, despite the obvious areas of concern and the fact that he constantly lies to her for his own personal gain. Simon Rex gives the performance of his career... not that it's too di...

"Dear Evan Hansen" Where I watched it: Crave Yikes. Just... what the hell.... wow. This thing is like a David Wain movie, how old is the guy playing Evan Hansen lol. Not only is this guy like 20 years older than the high school kid he's trying to play but he has such a comical way about his reactions, line deliveries, song deliveries... he kinda reminded me of Dennis from Alway Sunny mixed with Jessie Eisenberg mixed with Jerry Seinfeld. Despite rather serious content matter, I found myself chuckling quite a lot. I think this story is playing it pretty close to the real life Million Little Pieces controversy where the author sold his book as a memoir when really it was a work of fiction. I was crying with laughter at the scene where Connor's mom invites Evan Hansen to dinner and fills in the blanks whenever Evan tries to speak. Evan: We never really hung out... Connor's mom: Because you didn't consider it "hanging out" because it was much more specia...

"Scream" (2022) Don't watch Redlettermedia's Plinketto #10 episode before watching this. A true RE-quel, this movie is the EXACT same movie as the first Scream but by adding legacy characters, it also acts as a sequel of sorts. First off, I'm gonna say something that some will resent me for... I've never thought too highly of the Scream franchise. The only thing it has going for it is it's self awareness and this new entry is no different. Awful acting throughout with a few exceptions, including a pretty great performance from David Arquette who has aged like a fine wine, not a Paul Rudd standard of wine but decently fermented none the less. Absolutely fascinating watching David Arquette and Courtney Cox acting like they were married and broke up. Life imitating art imitating life. Pretty bland kills and for the ones that were actually kinda cool, they were ruined by shit CG. These movies are like the equivalent of Sharknado movies for me. I'll complai...

"Metal Lords" Where I streamed it: Netflix From the producers of Game of Thrones and Harold and Kumar. Let's just get right to it. This movie sucks. It's a kids movie that's made for adults and it feels like it was written by a bot that did a quick internet search for "metal music." Less than 10 minutes in I was like "this definitely was written by someone that doesn't know anything about metal." Then I find out it's co-produced by Tom Morello of Rage Against The Machine. Baffling. I feel like the name and the poster are trying to leech off of Lords of Chaos with the corpse paint and whatnot but it doesn't really touch on black metal, just the big well known classics like Judas Priest, Maiden and Metallica (ugh puke). There's actually a bit in the movie where the one kid shows the other kid a snippet of black metal and he's like "ughh why would I want to make music that sounds like people being tortured?" Life is t...

"The Bubble" Where I streamed it: Netflix This is just awful. "The Bubble" is the latest straight to Netflix comedy from Judd Apatow and is a glimpse into the painfully uninteresting world of movie stars on set during Covid-19 lockdowns. Hugely unrelatable unless you yourself are an actor who has experienced what it's like to be on a blockbuster movie set during the height of the pandemic. Alienating the audience isn't its only failing... it's also not funny... and it tries really, really hard to be funny. It felt like they were shooting and "writing" this film as they went along, the dialog felt improvised and the plot line was never clear. Shame that they dragged an all star cast down with the ship. Keegan-Michael Key tried... I could see it in his eyes... but alas... Fred Armisen was an embarrassment. I kept wondering why anyone would make this movie while I was watching it and then it all clicked when I saw the credits... Iris Apatow... Jud...

I had the exquisite pleasure of attending (prior to the COVID-19 pandemic) the world premiere of OUIJA SHARK at Toronto’s oldest and most run down theatre, The Grand Gerrard . I had no prior information about this film other than it’s title and poster but that was more than enough to convince me to take the plunge. Although the director is credited as Scott Patrick, his real name is Brett Kelly , and he explained after the screening that he uses the pseudonym to give him the option to distance himself from his extremely low budget films, if need be. With almost 40 films under his belt, Brett Kelly might be a hidden gem for fans of “ Best of the Worst ” style films. Having had no knowledge of Brett Kelly’s caliber of film making beforehand, I was immediately thrown off by the extremely low quality. The film was shot on a budget of $300 CAD ( $216 USD), a prop shark taking up the majority of the costs, at 200 bucks. Most of the actors worked in exchange for exposure as Brett Kelly’s fil...

VEROTIKA is a 3-part horror anthology film based on Glenn Danzig ‘s comic book series of the same name and it’s now available to stream online via Apple and Amazon Prime and came out on DVD and Blu-Ray on March 17th. Let me start off by saying, I am a huge Danzig fan. His musical career has been a rollercoaster ride from his legendary beginnings as frontman of the Misfits to a hoarse, wailing cover singer. (Look out for “ Danzig Sings Elvis ” coming this April.) Despite his obvious decline in quality, his music still manages to entertain on a completely unique level, sometimes even manifesting itself in an intensely comedic way. But that’s Danzig’s career, the punk stuff that was rough around the edges and perfect in its imperfection, the metal stuff that was cheesy but somehow empowering and the laughably bad missteps and unfortunate public displays of image ( kitty litter pics , “ Henry & Glenn Forever ”, the knockout video ) that turned him into a spicy internet meme. All of ...

"Between Two Ferns: The Movie" Overall easy watching but tonally all over the place. The "interviews" are the least funny parts of the movie. The mockumentary stuff is much better but I don't think Zack Galifianakis knows who he wants his character to be. He's at times Ron Burgandy, others he's Michael Scott and then he's just Zack Galifianakis. Some decent laughs but nothing memorable. 5/10

"The Package" Dear God this was a cringe fest. This is embarrassing on a lot of levels. I laughed once at something that I'm pretty sure wasn't the punchline of the joke they were going for. Acting is next level awful. 1/10