"Metal Lords" dir. by Peter Sollett

"Metal Lords"

Where I streamed it: Netflix

From the producers of Game of Thrones and Harold and Kumar.

Let's just get right to it. This movie sucks.

It's a kids movie that's made for adults and it feels like it was written by a bot that did a quick internet search for "metal music."

Less than 10 minutes in I was like "this definitely was written by someone that doesn't know anything about metal." Then I find out it's co-produced by Tom Morello of Rage Against The Machine. Baffling. I feel like the name and the poster are trying to leech off of Lords of Chaos with the corpse paint and whatnot but it doesn't really touch on black metal, just the big well known classics like Judas Priest, Maiden and Metallica (ugh puke). There's actually a bit in the movie where the one kid shows the other kid a snippet of black metal and he's like "ughh why would I want to make music that sounds like people being tortured?" Life is torture you little bitch, metal thrives on torture the whole point is exorcizing demons.

The plot of this movie is that 2 high school metalheads are trying to win at the Battle of the Bands contest at their school. The idea that anyone would be so committed to this is ridiculous. The outcome of the Battle of the Bands is plain absurdity.

This movie might be cool to get some youngsters into metal but overall its cringey and it stinks. Just look at the tag line on the poster. "Metal up your ass." Seriously? That's the best they could come up with?

The acting is pretty decent all things considered.

3/10

Comments

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