Skip to main content

"Llamageddon" dir. by Howie Dewin


"Llamageddon"

Where I watched it: Tubi

Obviously I was drawn in by this amazing poster and movie title. I did some quick maths (unheard of movie + tubi + this poster) which brought me to the conclusion that this was going to be terrible.

Well guess what? It was pretty awesome. In its own way.

The opening sequence (the first of 2) is animated and really sets the film up for success depicting a fleet of alien llamas leaving their planet in small trailer shaped space ships to presumably conquer other worlds.

After this the movie takes a turn for the worse as we are introduced to the live action student film that it truly is.

Bad audio recorded in camera and silenced in between lines only adds more attention to the roaring wind sounds that accompany the dialogue. Flat angles with DSLR cameras complete with dead pixels.

Multiple times the crew can be seen in reflections including one scene where the camera man is seen in between 2 actors as he shoots directly into a mirror.

Oh and the directors name is HOWIE DEWIN.

This film would have the whole classroom in hysterics at the film school. It doesn't take itself too seriously but it also seriously fails at a lot of stuff. It's like a homage to bad movies but is also just legit a bad movie. Redlettermedia should definitely check this one out.

There's a great line in this where one of the "stoners" who looks like Shaggy from Scooby-Doo says "I'll pack a bowl" then stares directly into the camera for like 15 seconds. I was baffled but about a minute later I was like, "ohhhhhhhhhhhh.... Alpaca bowl." Good stuff Howie, good stuff.

Points for real llama and ridiculous concept.

4/10

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

"The Cursed" dir. by Sean Ellis

"The Cursed" Random pick from Amazon Prime, this actually turned out to be a pretty amazing film. "The Cursed" is a gothic horror set in the late 1800s. After slaughtering and stealing land from a Roma clan, a curse is unleashed on the family and village responsible for the aforementioned atrocities. This film is another one that I'd recommend knowing as little about as possible. It's no secret that this film taps into the werewolf lore that most are familiar with, however it takes some completely new approaches and pushes some serious boundaries in terms of violence and gore. Outside of Boyd Holbrook's awful British accent there wasn't much to not like about this film. It's shot gorgeously and the pacing is somewhere between slow and medium at first but ramps up quite a bit in the last third. 8/10

"Mutant" dir. by John "Bud" Cardos

"Mutant" Forget every vibe you get from the title and poster, this is a zombie movie. "Mutant" is the story of two city bois who go to a small country town to relax and party hard. Nearing the small town they are driven off the road by the local yokels and are forced to hitchhike the rest of the journey with a weird man named Mel who claims that there are aliens visiting the town. Mel is straight up lying to the two city slickers as he damn well knows that he's the root of the problem as he's been experimenting on the townsfolk by slathering them in toxic waste. The end result of Mel's sloppy experimentations is that the town turns into zombies and yep the city bois gotta stay alive long enough for the movie to end. For some reason this movie has a cult following and I'm not sure why. It's got horrible production value, the acting is along the lines of those Italian cannibal movies I just watched and the story is weak even for a zombie movie. Wha...

"The River Wild" dir. by Curtis Hanson

"The River Wild" Where I streamed it: "The Hollywood Suite" via Prime. "The River Wild" is about a family that gets stuck on a raft with a couple of bank robbers. Not only is this movie made by the director of 8 Mile but it also has an all-star cast of 90s Meryl Streep, 90s Kevin Bacon, 90s John C. Reilly, the kid from Jurassic Park and the most forgettable face in cinema, David Starthairn. The film takes a while to get going but once it does... IT'S PURE TENSION AND EXHILARATING WHITE WATER RAFTING UNDER EXTREME DURESS. However, it is not without flaws. There's some pretty stupid stuff going on here. For example (mild spoilers... doesn't really matter): David Strathairn's character is able to sprint non-stop over 2 mountains, then make his way down the river to get ahead of the boat that initially left him behind in the river and still have time to set up the most elaborately underwhelming booby trap ever. Not only is this unhumanly possib...