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"Jurassic World: Dominion" dir. by Colin Trevorrow



"Jurassic World: Dominion"

Where I watched it: On the plane (Westjet In-Flight entertainment app)

In this latest entry into a franchise that should have died out like the dinosaurs years ago, we have what might be the most incomprehensible film ever made.

That being said... it wasn't as bad as everyone's making it out to be. At least not to me, gosh darn it.

This movie franchise clearly went off the rails some time ago so I don't know why people expect it to not be sucky. "The Lost World" was a huge departure from what the first Jurassic Park movie accomplished and looking back I think I can say without a doubt that it's the best sequel in the series. In the 3rd Jurassic Park it was far fetched to see Alan Grant communicating with the Raptors by blowing into a replicated voice box... but Owen Grady took this ridiculousness to a whole new level in the Jurassic World series. Not only do Raptors not attack this man but he can control them with a simple raise of his hand. He's even best friends with one named Blue.

I remember walking out of the theatre when the first Jurassic World came out and being utterly disappointed. When I walked out of the theatre after seeing "Fallen Kingdom" my sides hurt from all the laughing. It kinda clicked at that point that my favorite childhood film was becoming more and more the anomaly in this dino franchise. And with that acceptance came peace.

With this new mindset, I found "Jurassic World: Dominion" to be pretty entertaining. Maybe it was because it took my mind off the otherwise painfully boring flight. Maybe it was because I drank 2 beers before boarding the plane. In any event, I found myself getting nostalgic during all the fan service scenes that I would usually roll my eyes at. The original cast are without a doubt shoe-horned in but it is nice to see them all together again. Jeff Goldblum has some real zingers and one scene in particular actually had me laughing out loud (muffled of course through my plague mask).

"Why are you skulking... just run right over to it?"

There are 6 or 7 different plots happening simultaneously and all of them are uninteresting. Owen Grady played by Crisp Rat does the hand thing again and again and at one point he rides a motorcycle. There's a pilot whose choices make absolutely no sense. Claire could have been played by Kermit the Frog and it wouldn't have made her role any more memorable. There's BD Wong's character who everyone hates but should have listened to because they just go with his plan anyway in the end. The climate in a 5km radius goes from tropical to arctic tundra. People show up all of the sudden despite being nowhere near in the previous scene. Raptors assassinate people when signaled by a laser pointer you'd use on your pet cat. Owen puts everyone's life in jeopardy for a promise he made to a dinosaur. The list goes on and on.

And still... I found it relatively enjoyable.

So would I recommend this movie? Well shit, I think you have to be in a certain headspace but if you want to reminisce about the good ol' days of the first Jurassic Park and you don't necessarily care that the movie makes no sense... then sure, check it out.

It was also a nice precursor to my trip to the Jurassic Park section at Islands of Adventure.

UNRATEABLE

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