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"Morbius" dir. by Daniel Espinosa


"Morbius"

Where I watched it: $5.99 rental on Prime

"Morpheus was freed from the Matrix at a young age and dwelt in Zion. He enjoyed the taste of the rare bread, a commodity brought to the Zionites by the exploits of legendary Geoffrey. He then joined the Resistance and became the captain of the hovercraft Nebuchadnezzar. He became a well-known hacker inside the Matrix. With his crew they liberated many bluepills from their pods."

You may be wondering why they would cast Jared Leto as Morpheus... well, that's because they didn't.

Instead... Jared Leto plays "Morbius" in a completely different film that has nothing to do with The Matrix.

In "Morbius", a guy becomes a vampire and then another guy does too. They are replaced by video game characters and they fly around and hit each other and throw each other into stuff.

The only thing these vampires crave is blood but the one thing the film's rating won't allow is blood.

Another swing and a miss for the Sony/Marvel catalogue but this won't deter them from making more junk as the post credit scenes confirm.

Morbius, snore-bius, dorpheus, orpheus, go eat some walruses, orifices, porridges, seashells by the sea-shorpheus.

3/10

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