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"Head of the Family" dir. by Charles Band


"Head of the Family"

Where I watched it: Shudder

What in the flying **** did I just watch?

Before we get into the nitty gritty here let me just go ahead and say this was a blast.

"Head of the Family" is an insanity trip that feels like you're watching a porno movie made by a cenobyte. Shot on video with extremely tight close up shots to make up for the lack of back drops, I'm convinced they only had 3 walls they could shoot in front of. While the whole thing feels low budget there is some degree of artistic competency with the actual look of the "head" of the family.

Speaking of porno movies, this film stars Jaquelline Lovell who believe it or not (you'll have no trouble believing this if you watch this movie) is/was an adult entertainer. Of course this is a Full Moon release so gratuitous t&a is to be expected.

For me the most engaging aspect came in the way of Blake Adams' character. Fun fact, Blake Adams was credited by his original name Blake Bailey, who if you Google you'll find is also the name of a writer/educator who turned out to be a pedophile... so probably good move on the name change there Blake.

Anyway Blake's character in this movie is hilarious. He's just an awful guy with a kind of used car salesman attitude to everything he does. His back and forths with the "head" are fantastic. Pure silliness. The "head" whose name is Myron claims to be of superior intelligence to any man (because of the size of his head/brain) yet he can never foil this dimwit in front of him.

Myron, essentially a proto-incel, is a creature born as one of 4 siblings that are all very peculiar and supernaturally enhanced. One is super strong, another is super sexy and my favorite, there is a guy with giant eyes who can see things really well (photo in comments for reference). They all live in a mansion because they come from a family of wealth.

The performances in this movie are what makes it. It's just so corny but so odd that it all kinda makes sense. Imagine John Waters making Hellraiser.

This was directed by Charles Band which totally checks out, see his filmography for proof. Although he went under the alias of Robert Talbot for this film for some reason.

This film is dated, offensive and has a lot of misogyny and porny scenes. Be warned. But with a couple of beers I think this makes for a laugh riot and at the very least is just fascinating to watch and wonder what was going on in these actors heads (no pun intended).

I also have a sweet spot for these old Tales of the Crypt style horror stories with practical creature effects.

7/10

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