Skip to main content

"The Dare" dir. by Giles Alderson


"The Dare"

Where I watched it: Netflix

"The Dare" is a Saw knockoff about a guy wearing a Slipknot mask who has 4 prisoners locked up in his basement. He periodically comes down and makes them stab each other... or on occasion makes them eat bugs and other weird shit.

The film alternates between the present day and a flashback of when Slipknot mask guy was a child. Basically the exact same thing happened to him when he was a kid, he was abducted by Richard Brake and held captive in a basement until he got Stockholm syndrome and learned to love his captor... until eventually he learned to unlove his captor and dunked him in an acid bath made for pigs (what is this device and how does it make any sense to have one at a pig farm??).

But you can't escape true love it would seem as this kid takes on the role of his abducter in his own adult life. But... there's a twist and of course it's really stupid.

The prisoners that Slipknot guy has captured are all kids that bullied him one time 20 something years ago by making him... you guessed it... eat bugs and put spiders in his ears.

These people were childhood friends and they don't make this connection until 3/4 of the way through the movie despite being locked in the room together for hours.

I guess if you're in the mood for some Saw style torture porn this might scratch some of the itch but all things considered it's boring, the acting is pretty bad (all British cast doing awful American accents) and the gore is so-so. There is one pretty gruesome bit where a guy gets a maggot in his eye and then has it cut out... Blegh!

Why it's called "The Dare" I'm not quite sure, I guess the bullies "dared" Slipknot kid to go into Richard Brake's house which led to his abduction but it's kind of misleading because it makes it seem like the movie is going to be people "daring" each other to do gruesome stuff kind of like "Would You Rather?" which was awesome and you should check out if you haven't already.

Richard Brake was good as always as a creepy old psychopath but isn't in it as long as he should be.

4/10 (slightly better than Lightyear)

Oh totally almost forgot there is a bizarre Louis CK cameo in this that is uncredited (for obvious reasons at this point). 

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

"The Cursed" dir. by Sean Ellis

"The Cursed" Random pick from Amazon Prime, this actually turned out to be a pretty amazing film. "The Cursed" is a gothic horror set in the late 1800s. After slaughtering and stealing land from a Roma clan, a curse is unleashed on the family and village responsible for the aforementioned atrocities. This film is another one that I'd recommend knowing as little about as possible. It's no secret that this film taps into the werewolf lore that most are familiar with, however it takes some completely new approaches and pushes some serious boundaries in terms of violence and gore. Outside of Boyd Holbrook's awful British accent there wasn't much to not like about this film. It's shot gorgeously and the pacing is somewhere between slow and medium at first but ramps up quite a bit in the last third. 8/10
Post a Comment
Read more

"Mutant" dir. by John "Bud" Cardos

"Mutant" Forget every vibe you get from the title and poster, this is a zombie movie. "Mutant" is the story of two city bois who go to a small country town to relax and party hard. Nearing the small town they are driven off the road by the local yokels and are forced to hitchhike the rest of the journey with a weird man named Mel who claims that there are aliens visiting the town. Mel is straight up lying to the two city slickers as he damn well knows that he's the root of the problem as he's been experimenting on the townsfolk by slathering them in toxic waste. The end result of Mel's sloppy experimentations is that the town turns into zombies and yep the city bois gotta stay alive long enough for the movie to end. For some reason this movie has a cult following and I'm not sure why. It's got horrible production value, the acting is along the lines of those Italian cannibal movies I just watched and the story is weak even for a zombie movie. Wha...
Post a Comment
Read more

"The River Wild" dir. by Curtis Hanson

"The River Wild" Where I streamed it: "The Hollywood Suite" via Prime. "The River Wild" is about a family that gets stuck on a raft with a couple of bank robbers. Not only is this movie made by the director of 8 Mile but it also has an all-star cast of 90s Meryl Streep, 90s Kevin Bacon, 90s John C. Reilly, the kid from Jurassic Park and the most forgettable face in cinema, David Starthairn. The film takes a while to get going but once it does... IT'S PURE TENSION AND EXHILARATING WHITE WATER RAFTING UNDER EXTREME DURESS. However, it is not without flaws. There's some pretty stupid stuff going on here. For example (mild spoilers... doesn't really matter): David Strathairn's character is able to sprint non-stop over 2 mountains, then make his way down the river to get ahead of the boat that initially left him behind in the river and still have time to set up the most elaborately underwhelming booby trap ever. Not only is this unhumanly possib...
Post a Comment
Read more